Shelby's personal blog. I want you to want me to want you. What?
@17 hours ago with 110085 notes
I embarrass myself infront of myself
eating is so badass i mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and after a few hours later you absorb its essence and transform it in energy just wow
That is the most metal thing I have ever read in my whole life.
And then you shit it out.
omg it got more metal
(via hermione-ganja)@17 hours ago with 152436 notes
i cut a dude off in a fedora on the freeway today and i think he straight bit his thumb at me
(via pizzaforpresident)@17 hours ago with 532 notes
call me a tampon cause im always in yo btchs pusie
David that’s not how periods work
(via growlithed)@17 hours ago with 1597 notes
I love Arrested Development but I have no love for its crazy fans who quote everything even the lines that are not that funny and talk about it all the time and make all their Facebook cover photos into screenshots from the show.
(via pizzaforpresident)@17 hours ago with 5173 notes
omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst person ever
im still laughing about this they were so mad omg
(via lucidlydreamingaway)@17 hours ago with 106702 notes
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with deathdeath with benefits
(via lucidlydreamingaway)@17 hours ago with 229025 notes
may the wings of your eyeliner always be uneven
(via hermione-ganja)@17 hours ago with 81948 notes