spookythunder:

I embarrass myself infront of myself

(Source: glassbonesnpaperskin, via lucidlydreamingaway)

bapgeek:

iridessence:

photoshoppedreality:

hussiescondensedevil:

eating is so badass i mean you put something in a cavity where you smash and destroy it with 32 protruding bones and then a meat tentacle pushes it into a pool of acid and after a few hours later you absorb its essence and transform it in energy just wow

That is the most metal thing I have ever read in my whole life.

And then you shit it out.

omg it got more metal

(via hermione-ganja)

thatfuckingcrowv2:

i cut a dude off in a fedora on the freeway today and i think he straight bit his thumb at me

(via pizzaforpresident)

deerpong:

oomshi:

call me a tampon cause im always in yo btchs pusie

David that’s not how periods work

(via growlithed)

thebluthcompany:

cinematicshit:

I love Arrested Development but I have no love for its crazy fans who quote everything even the lines that are not that funny and talk about it all the time and make all their Facebook cover photos into screenshots from the show. 

(via pizzaforpresident)

lusture:

lusture:

omg I’m at work and a group of like 13 year old girls come in and order their lattes or whatever and one girl is like can you Instagram this with all our names on it? and her friend is like ya totally and so I may have put a q in the middle of all of their names so they got their coffee and were like “omg what the hell we can’t take a picture of this” Im literally the worst person ever 

im still laughing about this they were so mad omg 

(via lucidlydreamingaway)

someonecalledmefamous:

mu5icliz:

germansam:

tokyosluts:

Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation

It’s like being dead without the commitment.

an open relationship with death

death with benefits

(via lucidlydreamingaway)

perma-scowl:

may the wings of your eyeliner always be uneven

(via hermione-ganja)